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I’m British, I’ll happily wait in a queue and I hate to complain. I suspect that most people are the same as me, as is my wife, however Lloyds bank, with your extra L, you have messed up. Let me explain.

We were snowed off, just last week. My wife was sent home from school, my lads senior school was closed and I, as the boss, decided to close. We, the family, took a fun trip down to the shops. My son and I threw snowballs, (us two were happy), my wife took photos and video for Facebook (she was happy) and then we all ended up in our local Tesco buying anything that had a very high chocolate content (we were all happy). In fact we were as happy as, a middle aged, suburban family can be.

So loaded up, and heading back to our warm house with a plan to Google, watch films and eat, we stopped off at Lloyds bank to order a new pin number for my son. Simple.

The bank was open but empty, perfect. As my wife and son waited at the counter, they couldn’t hear a sound, or see anyone, so she cheerily called out ‘Hellooo, anyone there?’ It was one of those moments where we expected the person to answer..’Oh sorry, I was busy getting ready to shut, they’re sending us home, how can I help?’. We didn’t get that response unfortunately.

It turns out, she was the other end of the counter, the correct end, beavering away no doubt. She hadn’t seen or heard us up to that point. Fair enough, we’re all still happy, well most of us.

At this point Lloyds bank, with your extra L, I would have hoped your counter assistant, with no-one in the queue and no prospect of anyone forming a queue, would have looked up and asked us ‘please can you pop down to this end of the counter?’ The correct end. (there are three windows at our bank and we were at the wrong end). But alas, no, this isn’t what she said.

My wife, still smiling and happy. ‘Hello, are you serving?’

‘Yes, I’ll serve you if you come down to the correct counter…..’

Oh dear. My wife turned fifty a while back. She’s not taking it anymore and seeing as our 15 year old son was with us, she wanted to let him know, there is a way that customers should be spoken to, and that wasn’t it.

‘Excuse me, there’s no need for that…we don’t know which of your counters is open (or something like that). I can’t believe you’re so rude, how dare you speak to me like that’.

No apology. Come on Mrs Lloyds bank lady, do the right thing, admit you’re pissed off because everyone else is slipping off home early and you’re not. Now I understand we all can choose to feel like this, maybe you’re worried about how you’re getting home. Maybe your boiler packed up and maybe you’re having a bad day. But there are rules, and you broke them.


So I step in, take her name and then take my family home to resume the chocolate eating and film watching and even throw a few snowballs ‘accidently’ at my wife.

Then I complain by email and get a letter. A standard letter. It clearly doesn’t refer to the actual event because it’s probably an automated response to a complaint email. Yes Lloyds with your extra L, we also use CRM and email automations. It’s not impressive. There’s no reference to the name of the branch, the day of the incident, the member of staff. There’s no invite to attend the branch and get an apology and there’s no name for a point of contact at the bank. No doubt this is because they don’t have enough staff at that branch, afterall it’s a miracle it’s still open.

This is the icing on the cake from Lloyds and it’s extra L. After getting patronising, uneducated advice, following a scam text message, we then resolved to leave you. Do you think the £25 credit to our account following this latest event is appropriate?

The irony is that, lets face it, poorly behaved counter staff have their days numbered. When we got home, we went on-line and ordered the pin in a few minutes. Rude Mrs Barclays counter Lady, the robots are coming and you need to get prepared. Unless you’re providing something remarkeable to the bank, like customer service ( the thing you’re paid for) you’re on shaky ground over the next few years.

What should I expect now following treatment like this? No doubt they’ve tried to call, but we’ve probably missed the call. Maybe, a personalised letter? I’m sure you’re very busy people. More worrying is how many other people went into the bank that day, and got the same treatment?

With 5.3 bn profit this year, I’m hoping that profit will cover the complaint letters with a bit to spare…





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